The Battle For Seme!
by Kenny-chan Can't Spelll
Summary: The Time Has Come For Sasuke And Naruto To Do The Dirty. There Is Just One Problem, They Both Want To Be Seme. With The Help Of There Sensei Kakashi The Two Will Battle For Domination. Warnings in side. SasuNaru... or is it NaruSasu?
1. The War Begins

**＼(＾▽＾*)Kenny-chan Cant Spelll(*＾▽＾)／**

**A/N: Sup Homies! ahaah I hope you like this funny story I just thought of... well i think its funny anyway. ―(T_T)→  
><strong>

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><p><strong>WARNINGS:<br>-YAIO it's extreame you guys no joke.  
>-Fluff!<br>-Limes + Lemons (*T▽T*)  
>-Unbetad<br>****-... thats about it. (ー.ー")**

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><p><strong>This will probally have about 10 chapter minuse this one cuz its like an intro. It's basically a bunch of one shots following this plot. It IS NOT ANGSTY AT ALLLLL. I have noticed WAY to many angst depressing stories for SasuNaru these days so I wrote a cute light one. Tell me what you think I worked hard! Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ<strong>

****Disclaimer: If I did own Naruto Sakura would be Madrada r whatever. stupid ... making her end up with Naruto eww.****

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><p>After one year of Sasuke and Naruto being a couple it was time. They had waited long enough for this moment and were very eager to get the show on the road. Sasuke and Naruto were planning on doing the dirty.<p>

Of course being the people they were they had no experience. Zip, zero, none. So like any other normal person would do the two lovebirds took a trip to the library together instead of just individually asking .

"Excuse me miss." A blond boy asked the librarian who was currently sitting at her desk reading the local news's paper.

"Hm? What is it young man?" She said quizzically inspecting the seven teen year old suspiciously, because you know… wouldn't want him stealing… at the _library_.

"Uh yeah, me and my boyfriend want to check out a book, do you know where we can find the one where looking for?" He asked.

Without fully paying attention to what the boy was saying the old wise woman stood up and got away from her desk.

"What is it you are looking for exactly?" She sighed slowly walking into the room containing a large selection of books.

She raised her eyebrows at the jet-black haired boy sitting next to a display.

"Uh…" the boy mumbled looking rather embarrassed. The dark eyed boy in the back stood up and walked over to the blond.

"Were looking for a gay sex book." The raven smiled grabbing the waist of the blond and kissing him passionately.

The librarian gawked. She just stood there wide-eyed as the two exchanged saliva continually.

After a good** (great) **ten minutes the lovers stopped their little love fest and glanced at the still traumatize librarian.

"Umm so can we see one?" The blond smiled still holding onto the other boy.

Silently with jaw still dropped on the ground the librarian led the way to a section on the very back aisle

"Thank you so much Miss!" The bright-eyed teenager cheered.

"GWAHA" Was the intelligent answer the woman uttered before disappearing to her desk.

"This makes me so happy Sasuke we can be even closer now!" The boy cheered grinning at his lover.

"I know Naru, I've never been so exited." Sasuke smiled kissing his boyfriend on the cheek.

He giggled in a cute manly way before directing his attention at the bookshelf.

"Which one do we pick Sasu?" He said looking in awe at the selection.

"Hn. How about this one?" Sasuke answered reaching for a book with and orange cover.

"Icha-Icha Paradise huh? It says it's widely known's lets check it out." The raven said pulling his lover onto the ground.

They both got comfortable lying on the old carpet before opening flipping to the first page.

"Chapter one," Sasuke read out loud, "Supply." The raven read a long list of objects including whips, handcuffs and other bizarre things before looking up at his blond lover.

"Okay. We can get all the stuff at Wallmart right?" He asked shyly. Sasuke nodded then began to read the next chapter.

"Chapter 2, How to apply. If you are doing the basic's the seme/attacker put's the glove on his uhh… thingy." Sasuke said protecting his boyfriend's virgin ears he looked up and was not surprised to a pink-cheeked blond, even with the substitution words!

"But umm" he said nervously.

Sasuke smiled affectionately leaning his head closer to the boy.

"H-how do I put it on?"

Sasuke chocked. _How do __**I**__ put it on. Did I hear him right?_

"Naru you don't have to worry about that." He said. Naruto looked taken back.

"Huh? What do you mean it says right there the seme put's it on!" He insisted pointing to the book.

Sasuke was confused.

"W-wait you are the uke I'm the seme-"

"WHAT!" Naruto interrupted.

The raven was shocked, _He must just be unaware of what each position does and the traits that makes up one._ Sasuke thought.

"Dobe, the uke is someone who is usually smaller." Sasuke rose his eyebrow at his boyfriend who replied in a hmf.

"They also are somewhat younger." Naruto looked away being nearly one year younger.

"Also most importantly uke are the cute one and the seme is the uh, manly one." He added.

"That's my point! You're the cute one I'm the many handsome one!" Naruto yelled flailing his arms in the air.

"What are you talking about! Look at how kawaii you are!" The Uchiha yelled totally surprised at his favorite blond.

"No way Sasuke-teme! I'm the seme!" Naruto shouted.

"No Usuratonkachi I am!" The raven roared.

"NO YOUR-!"

"I think I can help with this problem." Suddenly a familiar sensei said jumping off the top of the shelve of books.

"Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto said surprised that his ninja teacher suddenly appeared in front of the fight.

"What do you want Kakashi?" Sasuke uttered grabbing his lover protectively.

The perverted teacher sighed and closed the seventh volume of "Icha Icha Paradise" in his hand.

"I over heard the lover's quarrel and I have decided to help resolve the little issue." The masked man explained.

"What do we do sensei?" Naruto asked interested on how exactly he was going to prove he was the seme.

"I'm happy you asked Naruto-kun." Kakashi smiled/arched eye.

"We are going to be having a little contest if you will. I know how much you boys love to compete!" The silver haired inquired.

"I will be keeping track of **Seme Points**, the first person to get **10** gets to be the attacker. Looser must be uke and no complaining. How does that sound?" Kakashi smirked eager to be entertained.

The lover looked at each other and smiled as blue met black.

"Let the games begin."

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><p><strong> AN: My computer charger just fell in my pan (ran out of bowls AND cups). Thats it... just wanted to share that with  
>you (￣- ￣ )<br>**** PLLLLLZZ REVIEW TELL ME IF YOU LIKE IT OR I SHOULD JUST NOT DO IT THNX1!1!1**


	2. Ukeppearance

**A/N: Yo Yo Yo! I loved writing this ..._〆(・∀・o) It Was kinda hard though cuz I had to make the end right sooo yeahhh! I may actually make this story less then 10 chapters ｢(ﾟﾍﾟ) but Idk maybe not if you guys beg I will make it 10  
><strong>**(￣▽￣)ノ So I hope you Like the Story chapter this is kinda what its going to be like but maybe slightly funnier cuz I had to do a broad one.**

**Disclaimer: : *Faints* Kenny-chan: (ﾟДﾟ|||) U Own Naruto u stupid Uke! (ｏ`皿′ｏ)**

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><p>"Ano Kakashi!" Naruto called glancing over to their sensei skipping down the happy streets of Konoha with his loving bastard boyfriend and perverted Sensei Kakashi.<p>

"Hm? Nani Naruto?" The masked ninja answers pulling out another copy of his favorite book 'Icha-Icha Paradise' (viewer discursion advised).

"So… how do we start?" He smiled glancing at the raven on the left of him. Sasuke smiled back at him and held out his hand, which the blond took happily.

"Hmm… lets make this first round just an argument. For example, uke's may posses' cute pr maybe even girly appearance, no? So there you go." Kakashi sang jumping away to watch just what exactly would unfold. The two lovers held a bit tighter then looked into each other's purely love lit eyes.

"Your going down bastard."

"You wish dobe."

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><p>'<strong>Who Has The Most Kawaii Appearance?'<strong>

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><p>"Yatta! This is easy for me!" Naruto cheered grinning at his lover.<p>

"How so?" Sasuke asked to the blond who seemed to be jumping for joy, he could not even imagine how he could not win this round. _I mean look at how adorable he is!_

"First of all you have girl skin! Look how perfect and light it is. Its just so feminine!" The blond smirked pointing at the raven's arm.

Sasuke was taken back by that, he did have light skin but he could not really see how that would matter, I mean his face resembles nothing of a girl's he had a very manly strutted face… unlike a certain someone.

"Hn. that's true I guess, but there are plenty of girls that have peach colored skin like you. And I'm pretty sure it's considered adorable to have such big fancy blue eyes." Sasuke said before kissing Naruto on his cheek. He was aware that his blond would not understand what he meant and it seems coloring and size is the only thing he seems to understand.

"EH! My e-eyes! So what there blue a ton of guys have really blue eyes!" Naruto exclaimed crossing his eyes over his chest.

"Well they would be uke right especially if they have such sunshine soft hair like your own, hm?" The Uchiha smirked patting the boy on his like stated blond silky head. They're where just so many things he could say.

"That's not true Sasuke you could be a… uh goth girl or something!" Naruto accused taking steps away from the raven.

"But there not really kawaii." Sasuke mumbled following the blond.

"Y-Yes! Your wrong! Umm also you have… RED! Red lips there so red just look at them!" He shouted running even farther away from his boyfriend.

The raven shuttered. _He is running away!_

"Naru…" Sasuke said sadly trying to catch up to his lover.

"I win! You have red lips! The other stuff does not matter!" He screamed trying even harder to not get caught.

"Kakashi see I wi-AHH!" Naruto was interrupted when two strong arms rapped around him, caging him in milky white skin and warmth.

"Naruu" Sasuke purred pulling his lover up and snuggling his cute little face.

"Sasuke! Let me down! I win!" He yelled pushing away. Naruto loved Sasuke but he had to win! He would not let Sasuke beat him again!

"But Naruu" The raven wined. He did not like his blond being like this he liked his loving personality much better. He wanted love from the boy not this.

_What's __**one**__ point loss going to do_? Sasuke thought hugging the blond tighter.

"LET ME GO SASU!" Naruto yelped doing everything he could to get out of his lovers extremely tight grasp.

"Your right Naru…" the blond's ears parked up at this, _Sasuke agreeing? This is impossible! _

"I have red lips. You have big pink ones. It doesn't matter your shorter ad I am a longer, they are still big and pink and tasty." Sasuke mumbled not even making total sense of his words he just wanting his adorable blond's personality back. He was still defiantly uke, the raven would not give that one up but one point, come on.

Sasuke smiled once he noticed Naruto was now not fighting back from his bear hug but that disappeared once he realized he was not receiving one either, he was just hanging there.

"Naru?" The dark-eyed boy asked shaking his limp lover around.

"Uh…" Sasuke said looking into his boyfriend's closed eyes.

"W-what did I do?" The raven asked confused at why his boyfriend was asleep.

"Well, it looks like he fainted." Kakashi smirked suddenly appearing out of nowhere particular.

Sasuke was confused. People don't just faint randomly.

"Why would he just… faint?" Sasuke asked still in shock.

"Well once you got talking about long, big pink he was already in the edge but _tasty_? I'm pretty sure it was too much for his virgin ears to take… so that would mean…" Kakashi looked at Sasuke deeply.

_The dobe is going to be so mad at this. _Sasuke thought planting a deep kiss on the big pink tasty lips of Naruto's.

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><p>"<strong>One Seme Point For <em>Sasuke Uchiha<em>: Seme's Don't Faint."**

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><p><strong>AN: Eh u like it? Ik its really short I'm sorry ―(T_T)→ Oh I would LOVE it if you could give me any ideas! U no things that make Sasuke and Uke or Naruto and Uke or either of them Seme either Please I would die of happyness If you PMed me or even just include it a review. 八(＾□＾*) Thanks! PLEASE REVIEW! (ﾟДﾟ≡ﾟДﾟ)**

**Kenny-chan Cant Spelll **


	3. The Order Of The Uke

**＼(＾▽＾*_)Kenny-chan Cant Spelll_(*＾▽＾)／  
>I AM SOOOOOOOO SORRY! Please please please forgive me for not updating this story in forever! （ToT）I just had Sooooo much to do and I have been working on the other one because I got stuck on this one then I forgot about it please still read it guys! ―(T_T)→ Loook as an apolagy I wrote an EXTRA LONG CHAPTA AHHHHHHHHHA ( ﾟ▽ﾟ) I had two Great People tell me what to make for the later chapters so dont abandon me now! I promis to be more faithful to this fic and will update it once every 2 weaks K! o(^^o)(o^^)o Sorry if I offend anyone when writing these I am aware this may not be true for all Seme's or Ukes but I just had to do this! Love you Forever! Kenny-chan!  
>Disclaimer: Hey Kay Kay r u an Uke or a Seme? Whaaat dont wanna admit the truth? Come onnnn i will admit I dont own Naruto if u dooo. FINE! GUESS WHAT EVERYONE I OWN NARUTO! ヽ(:^^) ￢o(￣-￣) Juuuust Kiiding<strong>

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><p>"Take this teme!" Screamed a certain blond as a brightly colored table flew across the air at great speed. Sasuke being the intense ninja he was jumped over it skillfully. Naruto then dove threw the air and secured the prized object with in his small hands. Sasuke, feeling extremely annoyed, dashed towards little Naruto.<p>

"In your dreams Dobe! You'll be the one to 'take' it!" He yelled shuriken in hand aiming for the blue-eyed boy.

Now how did this come to be? Well, this was all the fault of a pervert named Kakashi. (Che che)

The sun was shining nearly as brightly as a beautiful boy's golden hair this afternoon, waking said boy from his sudden slumber. This surprised unconsciousness was brought on by the equally beautiful Sasuke Uchiha.

This Uchiha would most certainly disagree with the last statement. He believed it was not his fault his lover passed put, no not at all. It was entirely his own stupid fault. Not to mention Naruto was **clearly** much prettier then he will ever be. But this thinking of his did not stop him from caring for the boy.

Kakashi, the ninja who started this whole shenanigans would easily say, he cared TOO much for the small boy.

"Naru? Hey are you awake?" A husky but still sympathetic voice asked. Slowly the recently unconscious Naruto opened his heavy eyelids and took in the sight.

He was comfortably perched under a pink cherry tree. He felt a damp cool object lying across his forehead, and a warm gray sweatshirt draped over his body. The sweatshirt presumably belonged to his boyfriend whom hovered close to his face with an anxious expression.

"Hey Sasu, being a little hypocritical aren't we?" the boy smiled eyeing the hoodie warm and icepack cool.

"Hn. Didn't knows you knew such a big word Naru-chan." Sasuke smirked gaining his batard-ly trait back.

The blond's face twisted, _of course he would say something like that,_ he thought slowly rising from his seated spot on the ground.

He was surprised by the light headed-ness he felt immediately after gaining leverage on his feat.

"Oi! Naruto are you alright?" Sasuke shouted grabbing his boyfriend by the waste so he would not tip over.

"Huh? Oh yeah I just-" It was this moment the blond truly woke up.

"Wait. What the heck! What happened?" he yelled still in caved in his lover's arms.

"Well it seems you fainted from either, sudden heat wave, heart failure or," A muffled voice sounded from behind the two lovebirds.

"Extreme hornyness." He whispered magically ending up behind the blonds ear.

"T-that's not it pervert! It must have just been… uh yeah a heat wave or something…" Naruto stuttered while Sasuke hissed at their sensei. He is very protective.

"Don't worry dobe, you're alright now right?" The raven asked sweetly making Kakashi's neck made a loud crack while his face seemed to be trapped by an intense intricate headlock.

Sasuke did not like it when people whispered suggestive things in his blond's ear then making the poor boy blush… especially if there _perverts. _Of course himself un-included.

"Yeah I'm f-" The words that escaped Naruto's lips were interrupted by a harsh rumbling that emerged from his abdomen.

"Well looks like your hungry! Me to! Let's go get some food, ramen right lets go!" The ninja said quickly while dragging his head across the ground to the ramen restaurant at the end of town. *

Sighing the two remaining lovers held hands and walked towards one of those particular boys's favorite place.

After a wondrous meal of ramen, the groups of ninja's were just about done when the owner of the restaurant along with his daughter, whipped out a double fudge chocolate ice-cream cake with extra cherries, gummy bears and of course rainbow sprinkles.

Naruto's jaw nearly fell as low as Kakashi's head at the wondrous sight.

"Kyaaaa! Yummmy Naruto want nooooow!" he drooled pathetically reaching his arms out for the immense dessert.

"Hey wait, since when do you sell that? You don't serve dessert at a ramen restaurant…" Sasuke questioned the suspicious actions, while the chefs were mocking the pathetic looking Naruto by raising the sugary concoction above his head and lifting it just a little higher every time the blue-eyed boy jumped.

"Well this was a special request you see, to help you with your little contest." The man explained all the while repeating the pitiful action on Naruto.

"Hm, yes he must have heard about your little feud. Thank you my good man." Kakashi cheered seeming to be hiding in the latest copy 'Icha Icha Paradise'.

"So the real purpose of this trip is to answer the question… who is more of the 'man' at a restaurant? For example who eats what, who pays for the meal, who drinks the pink lemonade cherry mint ice tea and who drinks the beer? Whosever action proves to be the most seme, will be awarded one Seme Point! So, lets dig in!" Kakashi concluded walking off to his own table to do God knows what people like him do.

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><p>'<strong>Who is More The 'Man' At Restaurants?'<strong>

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><p>"Alright, alright here is your cake Naruto, jeez you certainly are impatient." The chef's apprentice complained disappointed her game with the little blond was over.<p>

"Well yes that is a seme quality of mine no?" he smirked taking a big bite of cake.

Sasuke was so close to asking how on earth that made him more a seme, but bit back his tongue.

"Ne, ne Sasuke! Want some caaake?" Naruto squealed holding the chocolate concoction out to his boyfriend.

"No, I don't like sweet food it's all yours." The raven responded sipping the bottle of V-8 original. Tomatoes one thing other then Naruto the guy was crazy over.*

"Yatta!" Naruto smiled raising his spoon in the air before submerging it into the glob once more.

Had a stranger waked by they would have either puked of absolute Kawaii-ness of the sight or either puked at the speed in which the sugary substance was entering the boy's mouth.

"Dobe! Not so fast you'll get sick!" Sasuke scolded pulling the cake away from his boyfriend.

Naruto pouted his cheeks full of chocolate then crossed his arms. He hated it when Sasuke told him not to do things like he was his _mom_. Another great reason Sasuke should be the uke!

"Sasu! Not fair! Give it back!" the blond whined reaching across the table.

"Here, let me help you, so you don't throw up or something." Sasuke sighed pulling the cake a little further back.

"Okay!" Naruto cheered sitting back in his seat. Sasuke grabbed his fork and tore of a small piece and held it to the blond's lips.

Smiling Naruto opened his mouth and devoured the sweet goodness. Sasuke almost came right then and there.

"Sasuuuu, you know, you're like a pretty girl. I reallllllllly think you're the uke." Sasuke's hard-on died at those muffled words.

"What dobe? I thought we already had this conversation." The dark-eyed boy muttered feeding another piece of cake to his lover.

"I know it's just so hard to miss! I mean everything about you scream's uke you know! Your skinny body, light skin, pretty eyes-"

Sasuke felt a vain pop.

"Usuratonkachi! Look at yourself!" He faired stopping the consecutive action of filling the blond's should be already full belly.

Just then the chef dropped a small black folder on the table.

"Here is you bill please pay at the front though… we have been having some weird guy with a mask steal tips! Thank you!" With that she walked waving to the lovebirds clearly a yaoi fan girl. *

Slowly Sasuke reached for the bill as Naruto stayed alert.

"How much?" The blond asked leaning forward like he was about to learn a big secret.

"Don't worry I got-"

"No Sasu! Tell me because I know the boy pays for the bill so you **can't** pay!" A pair of glares were exchanges just before Naruto flew across the table and grabbed the folder.

But of course Sasuke would not go down with out a fight. He violently pulled the bill away, it ended up flipping threw the air and landing under another happy couples table.

With a growl the two lunged, both doing all they could to get the guaranty as their spot of seme.

"Ah!"

"S-Sorry miss urg…" Sasuke choked wrestling Naruto under their table.

"He, see dobe." The raven smirked on his knees next to his boy friend.

"Now just let me pay so we can-"

"NEVER!" And with one swift motion the blond arose kneeing Sasuke's equipment in the posses.

With a loud spew of curses he rolled onto his stomach over taken the pain.

"Naruto!" Sasuke roared watching the blond sprint closer and closer to the cashier.

Desperately he skimmed his eyes around the room to find something that could help him in this situation.

His eyes flashed once they came in contact with the large meatball sitting on the terrified couples table, just waiting for the perfect trough.

"Uh… may I?" He asked quickly. The man nodded as the Uchiha launched the ball of meet as his lover's head.

Naruto froze once he felt the bang of a wet piece of… well honestly Naruto didn't even know what it was. He slowly turned and wiped the sauce out of his hair and gasped.

"You teme!"

This gasp was just the thing Sasuke needed to get back up and snag the bill out of the blond's hands.

Snickering he ran so that he was a mere three feet away from the counter.

"Take this teme!" Screamed a certainty blond as a brightly colored table flew across the air at great speed. Sasuke being the intense ninja he was jumped over it skillfully. Naruto then dove threw the air and secured the prized object with in his small hands. Sasuke, feeling extremely annoyed, dashed towards little Naruto.

"In your dreams Dobe! You'll be the one to 'take' it!" He yelled shuriken in hand aiming for the blue-eyed boy.

Surprised Naruto stepped back and banged harshly against the wall. Falling backwards he landed harshly against the floor.

Sasuke froze.

"Naruto! Are you ok?" He asked dropping his weapon immediately and running over to help his boyfriend.

"Yeah… I think…" Naruto whimpered as Sasuke pulled him to his feet.

"I just gotta-" He took off running. Sasuke stood there shocked that his little dobe pulled such a dirty trick but that feeling disappeared with dread as he saw Naruto finally make it to the counter.

"Um…" The cashier gawked watching the whole incident unfold. She could have moved and went to them, but this was way more entertaining for her.

"H-How much?" Naruto panted unzipping his frog wallet.

"It'll be 3000 yen." She smiled.

The blond nodded slowly unzipping his frog wallet. Dunking his hand in he felt the bottom of the object. Wait… the…. _bottom?_

Naruto stared wide-eyed at the empty frog, just as Sasuke made his way behind him.

"What was it again?" He sighed.

"3000 yen." She repeated staring at the raven whom whipped out the cash in an instant.

"O-Ok thanks come again!" She waved watching as Sasuke had to drag the stone white Naruto out of the building.

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><p>"<strong>One Seme Point For Sasuke Uchiha: He Paid For The Meal."<strong>

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><p><strong>AN: Ikkk The guy doesnt always pay its just traditinoal sry if it offended anyone! PLEASE REVIEW PLEASE I WILL WRITE FASTER IF U DOOOOO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE IT LETS ME NO PEOPLE ARE STILL READING !**

**LOve FOrever KEnny-Chan**


	4. Kiba Is Gay

**＼(＾▽＾***_**)Kenny-chan Cant Spelll**_**(*＾▽＾)／**

**A/N: (￣▽￣)ノ I really like this chapter hop u guys do to!  
>1<br>(I desided to this one diffrent then the rest sry if its confusing i also desided to HAVE PLOT! Ｏ(≧∇≦)Ｏ Omg no way man (O_O；) Yep u heard it (read it) right! Ploooot! So now u guys may need to read the chapters in order sry if u dont like that and NOW THIS IS ALSO kinda a love story instead of just funny (-^w^-)  
>2<br>There is now gonna be other character who are involved in the story aswell! (ﾟДﾟ≡ﾟДﾟ)  
>3<br>Naruto's really stupid in this story, I dont really like him like that but he had to be clueless for this all to work (ι´Д｀)  
>4<br>Next Chapter was inspired by Funnbunny123! p(*＾-＾*)q  
>THNX!<strong>

**Disclaimer: The only reason Kiba is meen in this chapter is because he got punished by for trying to be my character... sry kibs (_ _)**

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><p>"BWAHAHA!" Kiba Inuzuka, a friend of Naruto's laughed, falling onto the ground hysterically.<p>

"Kiba! It's not that funny!" Naruto stammered his face lit with red.

"Y-you are battling to b-be the g-g-GUY! HAHAHA!" He howled rolling back and fourth like a dog.

"Go home Inuzuka." Sasuke sighed running a hand over his pounding forehead.

After Naruto decided to tell his friend what Sasuke, himself and Kakashi where up to, the three never heard the end of it.

Kakashi got so annoyed he actually left, which is the only reason Sasuke did not kill the brunette yet.

"Shut up! Everyone says that I'm soooo not the uke!" The blond shouted stomping angrily around his apartment.

"N-Naruto, as much as I may like you more then the Uchiha I have to side with him here. You're a little priss." Kiba snickered, finally being able to hold back his cackling.

"Hn." The raven muttered flipping open a book he found lying around the dobe's apartment. Since this is such a rare scenario he had to read it.

"No, no, no! I am seme! SEME!" He yelled jumping around room.

"Usuratonkachi. You're not a priss … you are uke but not a girl. Don't listen to that mutt. He is retarded, you should know that, how would he know anyway?" Sasuke mumbled indulged in the book, which he found out, was the only book Naruto owned. The book was also known as 'Cosmo Girl'.

"What! Shut up Uchiha! You think you're so great but your gay so don't even talk!" Kiba spewed sitting up to growl at the raven.

"Did that really make any sense now Inuzuka? You honestly are slow. And I'm not sure if you had realized this but, uh when was the last time you had a girl friend?" Sasuke said giving a glare in the brunette's direction.

"Screw you I'm not gay!" Kiba barked jumping from his comfortable position on the floor.

"I need to get a seme point NOW!" Naruto interrupted not caring to join his quarreling friends/boyfriend.

"Could have fooled me, you and Shino are pretty touchy friends, hn?"

"THAT'S IT!" Kiba boomed, "Naruto come on! Where gonna have you win this thing!" with a dash he grabbed the blond's wrist and dragged him out the door.

Normally Sasuke would have had a fit if someone even touched his boyfriend but today, he let it slide only because he Kiba was not only Naruto's best friend but also the blond had to get the fact that the raven would clearly win this competition.

So yeah Kiba got lucky today, but he even _thinks _of doing anything to Naruto... Sasuke would get scary.

"Kiba! Ow that hurts let go! I can walk myself!" Naruto complained while being pulled by his friend whom had just stormed angrily out of his house because of his boyfriend's '_insult'. _

"If you think this hurts just think about how much its gonna kill if your _bottoming_ Uchiha!" The brunette yelled flicking the blond's wrist down causing him to fall to the ground.

Naruto winced not only at the sudden contact of his butt with the ground, but the wrenched thought of being a uke.

"And that's how it's going to be unless you get some points man!" Kiba huffed opening the door to his own house.

"Come on, where going to find that guy's weakness." Naruto nodded following his friend inside.

Once the two went up to the dog lover's room after doing whatever they possibly to could to avoid his rabid mother, they took out a pad of paper and a blue pen.

"All right so what do we know about him," Kiba said, writing the words, 'Payback' on the top of the page.

"Um… well he has jet black. Skater hair and eyes that are like smoldering orbs or charcoal and flawless skin that-"

"No! We need stuff that will hurt him, besides appearance won't work, you already had a competition for that one right?"

Naruto nodded his head slowly inwardly crying about his embarrassing defeat.

"What about, like weird things he does in his free time?" Kiba asked, prepared to go to whatever it took to get his friend at lease _one_ seme point.

"Emmm…."

"Come on any-"

"OH! He really likes to have, like sword fights with other Anbu people, he's really good I love watching him, it's very attractive," Kiba face palmed. "He really just always is either with me, on a mission, or training." Naruto explained feeling just about brilliant at the moment.

"Naruto! Shut up! You sound like a lovesick school girl man!" The brunette groaned. There goes the brilliance.

"Alright then what are things he likes?" Kiba sighed looking at the blank page just bragging of un-achievement.

"Sasu loves tomatoes a whole lot, I think its unhealthy…"

"Yeah but I don't see how him eating tomatoes makes him any less of a seme,"

"How about how much he loves the color royal blue?"

"Dark blue Naruto, not to mention that makes him more of a seme."

"I think he likes it when I rub my hands over his-"

"NARUTO"

"Back."

"Oh thank God."

"What? What did you think I was going to say?"

"Never mind that I think you just gave the answer to all our problems," Kiba quickly wrote down a few notes then gave his friend a wicked grin.

"Huh? My massages make me more of a seme? Awesome!" Naruto cheered getting a disappointed look from his friend.

"No stupid, not your massage skills, but the one thing he likes better then tomatoes, blue and the wondrous feeling of someone rubbing you back." Kiba grinned waiting for Naruto to fill the blank.

"Oh, that's pretty clever, I never thought you where that smart. So, how we gonna use Pokémon?"

"No you dumba- wait what?"

"Oh oops! Never mind! Forgot, not suppose to tell people that one, what was your idea again?"

"… I swear to God your retarded." Kiba sighed not even believing his friend could possibly be that stupid.

"Dude! It's you! You're the one thing that guy ever cares about!" Kiba explained.

"Yeah, I guess we do like each other a whole lot," Naruto answered a slight blush coating his scared cheeks.

"Oh I see!" Just then Kakashi jumped out from under the bed, "So basically this will be just a whoever does the most Uke thing, _doesn't_ get the point the other person does!" He said clapping his hands together in joy before disappearing into oblivion.

"Hehe, where going to use Uchiha's heart against him." Kiba laughed to himself ignoring the fact that Kakashi was recently under his bed before diving into the pad of paper and scribbling many elaborate notes on how he will see revenge.

* * *

><p>'Who Doesn't Do An Uke Action?'<p>

* * *

><p><em>The Next Day<em>

"Ok so you know the plan right?" Kiba asked from behind a large bush in front of the village bridge, team 7's usual meeting place.

"Duh, all I do is stay here." Naruto shrugged also hiding in back of the shrub.

"Good don't screw this one up, ok?" The brunette said giving the blond a dark look.

"Yeah, yeah, I just… this might not work." Naruto said staring down at his feet.

"Hey! This is a great plan of course it will work!" Kiba reassured patting his friend on the back.

"But, I don't actually think that he is that crazy about me Kiba. I may really be for him but, he's so…" He whimpered, sadly.

"If not oh well right? I'm sure there is others out there." The dog lover sighed clearly not too good at making other's feel better.

"I just really hope he does." Naruto whispered after a moment of silently watching from behind the leaves.

"Whatever, ok I'm out of here. This better work." Kiba said giving a curt nod to his friend before slowly leaving their hideout and approaching the meeting place.

Sasuke had just recently shown up, somewhat later then usual probably due to the fact he was looking everywhere for Naruto, whom seemed to have disappeared of the planet.

But, he was not nearly as late as his other team members, both Sakura and Kakashi where nowhere in sight. This is not really unusual for the masked man though of course. God only knows where that pervert will pop up, but the reason for the pink haired girl not showing up was still unknown. Sasuke was going to just go with luck for that one.

It was then when the raven spotted Kiba walking in his direction.

"Perfect." The brunette muttered to himself before approaching Sasuke, who seemed extremely pissed.

"Where is Naruto?" He growled threw his teeth, a clenched fist already positioned to strike at any immediate movement.

"Whoa! Relax Uchiha!" Kiba said hearing how lethal the raven sounded.

"I swear Inuzuka, I will rip out your balls and feed them to you with a fork if you hurt him in anyway!" He shouted rapping his fingers around the brunette's neck.

"He's fine! Just sleeping! That's why I'm here!" Kiba choked. Slowly Sasuke let his tight grip loosen, just enough so he could keep the mutt still breathing.

"And why is that?"

"Hehe you'll never believe it actually. He was having a 'dream' in the middle of the night. So he woke up and now the poor guy's exhausted." Kiba laughed awkwardly pulling the raven's claws away from his lovely esophagus.

"A… dream?" Sasuke said raising an eyebrow at the word. Now he knew well what Kiba meant by dream, but what the dream was of… well that was necessary information for him.

"Yeah man, he was all panting and sweating and damn it was weird how into it he was!"

"Kiba it sounds like you slept with my boyfriend please rephrase your last sentence so I don't have to go all Chidori up your ass."

"Oh sorry man! No way! How could you even think like that! I'm just saying he seemed like he wanted it really bad. He even had me sit and listen to his little fantasy."

"Oh… I see." Sasuke replied awkwardly. He overly needed to know but asking something of someone was against his nature. _Panting, sweaty, holly shit I can't do this._

"So, what was the dream of?" He said spitting out all of his Uchiha pride.

Watching Sasuke tear himself up like that made Kiba grin like mad, on any other day he would have made it a bigger deal, but he had to stick with his plan.

"I thought you would never ask my good man!" The brunette sang, grabbing the raven's shoulder to whisper what this oh so scandalous dream was about.

Meanwhile, Naruto was tightly hugging his knees, fear of rejection overwhelming his body. See the dream that Kiba was about to tell his boyfriend actually was true. He thinks about it all the time and wishes it to be reality. This thought is a big deal, and Naruto had a huge feeling that his romance would crash down on him right this instant.

_I mean we haven't even said 'I love you' yet!_

"Sasuke, Naruto was having a dream about you and his wedding." Obviously when you hear words like these no mater who you are your jaw would drop, this includes an Uchiha.

"He told me that he dreams of you waiting for him at the end of an else with a black suit and red rose, as he shows up in… well he said what ever makes you happiest, but I'm guess a cute white little outfit, then he dreamed about you telling him how much you love him and he loves you back then you walking with him out into a limo. He says the honeymoon was the sexy part, you two alone in a small oasis in The Sand, small little beach house over looking the perfect little lake. You would have hot, water make out session, then cuddle up on the bed and of course have some 'fun' after that." Kiba said wiggling his eyebrow.

Sasuke's eyes where wide, and his mouth still hung open as the brunette watched, extremely amused.

The raven's mind broke at that moment, as images of adorable Naruto kissing him, swimming with him, _marrying _him.

Something unexplainable happened as those wondrous thoughts hit the Uchiha. His mouth released a sound unheard by anyone else before, a girly sound that can only be described as one thing. A giggle.

"Bwahahaha!" Kiba bellowed much like yesterday, falling to his stomach and rolling around on the ground.

"Sasuke!" Kakashi shouted springing up the water much like a… never mind.

"Wh-… oh shit." The raven mumbled looking awkwardly off to the side.

While Sasuke may been upset, Naruto couldn't be happier. He slowly crawled out of his hiding place and made his way to where the group was located.

"You heard him right Kakashi-sensei? Uchiha giggled! That is such a girly thing to do!" Kiba cackled pointing at Sasuke.

"Che shut up Inuzuka." The raven muttered, just before his dark eyes met a bundle of orange prancing towards him.

"I certainly did Kiba, you know what that means right?" The masked man cheered, happy that Naruto finally would stop complaining.

"Sasuke!" The blond called, his eyes dancing brightly as he waved to his boyfriend, the biggest smile beaming like the sun.

_Yeah maybe I lost that one, _Sasuke thought, his very own smile spreading across his face, _but I certainly made him happy._

* * *

><p><strong>"One Seme Point For Naruto Uzumaki: Sasuke G<strong>_**iggled**_**. (What a Looser)"**

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Yaaay! Longest Chapter eva compleate! ＼(￣∇￣)/ I would looooovvee to know what characters you want in the story and if you guys could give me some idease I would love it! Please please pleeeeeaaaaaasssssseee review I will love you forever（*＾＾）＾*)and promis to respond + I will update sooner! THNX!  
>Love Kenny-Chan <strong>

**Press this button right here! PLLLLEEEEEAAAASSSSEE**E


	5. The Most Seductive Sigh

**＼(＾▽＾*)Kenny-chan Cant Spelll(*＾▽＾)／**

**A/N: Missed me? (l u l*) Ahaha U no u did ^_^ Well here it is, Chapter uh...ummm... I CANT REMEMBER THE PRESSURE THE PRESSURE! ＼(≥O≤)／**

**Disclaimer: Sasuke and Naruto Sitting in a tree, both belong to K Mashi... (･ω･｀)  
>...Geez That was right on the spot too. (OuO)<strong>

* * *

><p>"You… you're kidding right?" Sasuke choked, looking in awe at his ninja sensei.<p>

"Yep! You heard me right, Sasuke-kun!" Kakashi clapped happily. The raven smirked; this was going to be so easy.

"Ano, Kakashi! We already had this sorta thing, lets um have a eating contest to prove who is seme instead!" Naruto begged tugging on the masked man's Joinin vest.

"No, no, no Naruto, this is different!" Kakashi smiled walking off followed by the blond, desperate to pull him in a different direction, and a raven, staking behind the two in a very emo is manner.

"Hmf, fine but why do we have to talk to… _him._" Naruto growled.

"Uh yeah, why do we? I think I loose brain cells just looking at that face of his." The Uchiha muttered with a frown.

"Hee, hee, that is precisely the reason where going to be taking to Mr. Smiles! You see, he will be Naruto's new personal trainer."

That stopped the kids dead in their tracks.

"Personal trainer! H-Him! B-But-!"

"What! Why?-"

A hand was thrown across each of their faces, silencing them from any more complaints.

"Where here!" Kakashi shouted upon arriving at the front door of a small light blue house. Instantaneously the front door flew open.

"Konichiwa Kakashi-sensei, Naruto-chan, Sasuke-san." Sai smiled (?) as he made his way to the trio.

"EH! Why is _he_ san, while I'm chan!" Naruto wined pointing at his boyfriend.

"Yo Sai, so have you heard about your new mission? Assigned by me personally." The masked man sang joyfully.

The pale boy (not to be confused with the slightly less pain Sasuke) continued smiling as he shook his head slowly.

Naruto swore he felt a snake run down his back.

"No, I'm sorry sensei I have not. Would you please inform me of it?" The creepy boy asked, no emotion inking threw his words.

"Well of course Sai! Sasuke and Naruto want to do it-"

"Way to be blunt." Sasuke sighed.

"OI! I don't want this guy knowing my business!" The blond stammered.

"-But you see," Kakashi continued, not giving a rat-ass about either comment.

"They can't. Because they can't agree on who will be the submissive one and who will dominate. You see it's a very big problem. So we are deciding to have a battle per say. Who ever acts more like the seme, get's a seme point. There are ten rounds, so far Sasuke has two and Naruto has one. I have decided to give both of them a little help. Naruto needs help in controlling his emotions, so I have chosen you as his new teacher. Trust me for this next one he's gonna need some help." Kakashi said, summing up the past events to the boy.

"Ah yes, I will do my best to help. What is the current competition?" Sai asked, intrigued by the argument.

The masked man's eye squinted in delight at the acceptance.

"I'm glad you asked Sai!" He cheered, "Sasuke and Naruto are going to both have to talk dirty to each other, you know like, phone sex… without the phone. Who makes the other show signs of embarrassment will get the Seme point!" Kakashi explained.

* * *

><p><strong>'Who Would Win A Dirty Talking Contest?'<strong>

* * *

><p>"I never thought you wouldn't be able to have sex because you couldn't decide who would top," Sai smiled at Naruto.<p>

"I thought you wouldn't have sex because you don't have a penis."

Silence.

This is what people call, calm before the storm. But any minute now…

"EH! URUSAI, SAI! I DO TO HAVE A, uh-"

"I REFUSE TO HAVE MY BOYFRIEND ANY INTERACTION WITH THIS PERVERT!"

Ah yes, the storm.

"Hey! Sai here, agreed to help, so you must hold yourself from such comments." Kakashi scolded.

"And if you do… that is an automatic defeat." The man warned giving a dangerous glare.

Both kids shuttered, turning their attention back on the weirdo in front of them. And was he… laughing?

"What are you laughing about?" Sasuke growled at the boy.

"Eheh, Hee, well me and Naru-chan are going to have _so _much fun." Sai snickered. This comment set both lovebirds off. But sadly, they where being forced to hold their tongues, or else vile punishment would occur.

"Ano, Sai can you please just call me Naruto." The blond directed quietly.

"Eheh, oh and Sai just so you know," Sasuke growled threw his smiling teeth, "Don't touch what doesn't belong to you, especially if it's _mine__._"

"Don't worry Sasuke-san, it won't be yours for long…"

"You little pr-"

"WELL! Time to get going shall we Sasuke!" Kakashi interrupted, yet again clasping the boy's jaw with his hand.

"Huh? What's going on?" Naruto asked confused to as why his sensei was currently hauling his struggling boyfriend away.

Within seconds a cold arm was snaked around his neck, pulling him forward.

"Shush Naruto-chan, I'll all be ok now that I have you." Sai whispered in the small blonds ear.

His thought's where interrupted by a loud familiar scream of his name.

"NARUTO! DON'T-"

"-Sasuke! Meet at the front gate by 7:30 tomorrow morning for the contest." Kakashi waved, halfway down the street.

Naruto waved happily, not totally aware of why the raven was so upset.

He turned his attention to the low creaking of a door.

"After you Naruto-kun." The pale boy welcomed, holding the door for his guest.

Naruto pouted, still not to happy with the fact that his boyfriend got more a more respectful honorific, but he still preceded into the house.

Sai smile widened as he gently cupped the blond boy's behind lightly as he walked ahead of him.

Naruto gasped at the contact and franticly turned to face the boy responsible.

"U-um w-why did you touch me?" Naruto asked

"Oh there was a bug." Sai said grinning madly.

"Oh, ok thanks then!" The blond beamed at the pale skinned boy.

Once Naruto entered the house he was immediately directed to a large circular room, where he was ordered to sit on a high platform placed in the back of the room. He complied happily, sitting criss-cross applesauce on the miniature stage.

Sai sat in the stool below then blond, an easel in front of him.

"Ano Sai, why am I sitting up here?" Naruto asked politely.

The young artist looked up at the boy and smiled (again).

"Well Naruto-chan, you see, you have two problems, and these are the main reasons why Sasuke-san is winning." He said.

The blond tilted his head in a questioning manner, wonder what the reasons where.

"First and foremost, you display your emotions to freely, if you feel embarrassed you blush or faint." Sai explained. Naruto sighed. He knew it was true, but hiding his feeling where not his forte.

"What are the other reasons?" The blue-eyed boy asked.

Sai said nothing, just stood there smiling like a creep.

"Eh… well I guess we can start with the first one right!" Naruto declared trying to fill the awkward silence.

"So, em, what do we do to-"

"Do you like it up the ass Naruto-chan?"

"... W-what?"

"How deep do you like it?"

"…I"

"How much can that little hole of yours hold?"

"AHH! SHUT UP!" Naruto **finally** screamed covering his poor virgin ears from the insanities.

"Look at yourself Naruto-chan," the pale boy, sighed "At this rate Sasuke-san will be ramming you into the wall, moaning his name like a little whore." Sai said, shaking his head at the boy in disagreement.

Naruto let out a squeak at the cursed thought, no way could his boyfriend be seme! He had to ender this torture.

"G-Gomen," The blond apologized, bowing his head slightly.

"Well Naruto-chan, I never thought you would be the apologetic type. I forgive you, now here's what where going to do with you," Sai continued pulling out a brush and some paint.

"I'm gonna continues screwing you with my words, and your going to have to respond back, with as little embarrassment as you can, and instead pure lust. If you do what I say, then I promise, you will get this point." The boy smiled, staring longingly into his subject.

Naruto nodded, straining his stance.

"So Naruto-chan where do you want it?" Sai breathed loudly whipping his paintbrush across the canvas.

The blond took a gulp before finally answering.

"Y-You know where I-I want it." He stuttered.

Sai raised a brow at the small boy's reaction.

"Oh I do now? Do you want it here?" Naruto gasped as the boy turned the picture around. Sitting in front of his was an extremely explicit version of himself, sprawled on the ground with hazy eyes and foam dripping from his mouth (Or so he thought) his legs where spread and well, must I go into more detail.

"Uh-h" Naruto choked.

"No? Well then I guess-"

"I want you like that b-b-b-… baby."

Sia's smile couldn't possibly grow bigger at that moment.

After many hours of constant training, the sun rose, marking the time of seven thirty. At this time, both Naruto and Sai made their way to the front gate, where Kakashi, the judge/host of the whole thing was located, as well as Sasuke Uchiha, the opponent and passionate lover of none-other then the small Blondie set on winning.

The second that blond mom of unruly hair entered Sasuke's vision he was up and running.

"NARU!" He yelled lunging for the smaller boy.

"Oh, hey Sasu." Naruto said, feeling his boyfriend's arms rapped around him tightly, rubbing their faces together. Some may call it strange, but Sasuke calls it a kind loving greeting so, yeah, who cares what everyone else says, he's Sasuke.

"Did this guy touch you? Huh? Huh? Did he? Did he!" Said raven yelped swinging Naruto around like a stuffed doll.

"No Sasu I'm fine! Promise!" The blond answered, hugging his lover sweetly.

"That's good because if he did…" Sasuke mumbled nuzzling up against the blonde.

"Ah! Naruto! Have fun?" Kakashi sang, skipping over to where the boys where located.

"Uhh…" Was about all Naruto could say before be lifted up again and being hugged tightly.

"And, thank-you again for taking the time out of your busy day and helping us Sai, I'm sure Naruto appreciates it." The masked man smiled.

"Oh no problem Kakashi-sensei, trust me I liked it too.""

"ALRIGHT! Ready to start you two?" Kakashi yelled calling the boys, whom seemed to be making out by the tree stump, over.

"Hai! Che, che, Sasu your going down." Naruto laughed back lightly hitting his boyfriend on the side.

"Mmm, Nah Naru, I think you're the down one, I'm topping remember." Sasuke smirked back, pulling Naruto's hand along with him.

Naruto muttered something but ended up following his boyfriend hand in hand.

"Alright you two take a seat right here," Kakashi cheered pointing to plastic chairs that where conveniently set up facing each other.

Both sat their little butts down and awaited further instruction.

"Ok, Sasuke you can start the conversation, I'll be over here somewhere reading my novel and Sai will watch from the gate entrance. No touching or kissing of any kind. Go!" With that he disappeared in a flash.

Sasuke and Naruto exchanged glances before finally Sasuke whispered the first words.

"I wanna rub my hands up and down you so bad right now." For some reason when Sasuke said this it felt extremely different from all the things Sai said. And Sai said some pretty twisted things. Naruto used a lot of strength to now blush when he would talk, but this. This killed him. For some reason Sasuke changed everything. But he swallowed his feeling and as quickly as he

"Go ahead Sasu, feel me up, taste me babe, I want you just as bad." He said using all his might not to spontaneously combust at that moment. He knew he was blushing like crazy but he successfully hid it by looking at his feet letting his bangs cover parts of his face. No way in hell could he look at Sasuke now.

Kakashi, being a ninja and all, knew that he could call Naruto out now for uke actions, but did he really want to hear him complain for the rest of the day? Nah, he could let this play out. Besides, it's interesting no?

Sasuke was startled when he heard Naruto say those things. It was so unlike him. And much different then what someone may believe, he did not enjoy it. No, he _hated_ it. But he had to win this thing. For good old Uchiha pride!

"Hn, I wanna do more to you then that Naru," He purred, leaning into his boyfriend's ear, "I wanna run my tongue up and down you, suck until I leave marks, and swallow you _whole_."

Yeah, good luck with that one Naruto. His face lit up like flames and he immediately started shaking. The boy tried speaking but all that would erupt was a squeal. Defeat was positive, and Naruto knew that much.

"Well, seems like you fell fatal to the second fault of yours huh, Naru-chan?" A low voice sounded. And, suddenly Naruto was lifted up from his seat, by none-other then Sai.

"S-Sai, w-what are you doing?" the blond shouted as a hand flew up his shirt.

He yelped as cold fingers pinched one of his nipples, and he down right screamed as hand another snaked into his boxers.

"This is your other problem Naruto," Sai moaned in the boy's ear loudly, "Your too much of a virgin."

"Well look here, guess you do have a penis after all." The boy croaked giving Naruto's member a painful squeeze.

Before he could pull away, the blond was thrown to the ground.

"I mean with your innocent's anyone could take advantage of you-" _CRACK._

Naruto stared in awe as the painful sound of breaking filled his ears. Sasuke had one foot firmly on top of Sai, while his hands, pulled the boy's arms backwards. Sai let out a painful shriek, but all the while smiling threw it.

"Sasuke" The blond whimpered, watching as said boy bent the other's arms backwards. Naruto just winced thinking of that agony.

"Hee hee, isn't that right Sasuke?" Sai slued in pain.

"You, dare touch my Naruto? I'll kill you, for doing that to him. I'll kill anyone that does. I would never take advantage of him. That's why I'm here in the first place, you fucking idiot!" He growled, kicking the back of his head with his other foot hard.

"You freaken prick!" He snapped with another twist to his limbs.

"You useless little whore!" He screamed, pounding down on his rib cage.

"I'll kill you!" Again he yelled.

"I'll kill you!" And Again.

"I'll kill you!" He screamed this, but couldn't, for he was stopped by wires wrapping around his wrists. Looking up he noticed Kakashi standing with a sad look in his eye.

"Sasuke… you just-"

"Did you see what he did! Why didn't you stop him! I was to shocked to do anything sooner but you… YOU could have done something!" He shouted sending a slightly insane glare at his sensei.

"Gomen, I didn't really realize either… and-" A loud gasp broke Kakashi's speech.

"Naruto! Oî! Kakashi let me go!" Kakashi sighed and cut the pulled back the wire entangling Sasuke. The second he was free he dove down to his lover and tightly held him in his arms.

"I'm sorry Naru, I'm so, so sorry." The raven cooed, gently kissing the blond's cheek.

"I'm ok Sasu, thanks for saving me." Naruto said returning the careful embrace.

Kakashi gave the unconscious Sai a glare before setting him under a tree and wrapping his wounds.

"So I guess, Sasuke won that round huh?" Naruto sniffled in his boyfriend's arms.

"No, actually you won Naruto." The masked man sighed.

"What how?" Naruto stammered, Sasuke said nothing; instead he seemed to not even hear their sensei and instead just continued petting his little blond.

"I told him if he started anything with Sai then you get a point. So that's that." He said, still taking care of one of his injured students.

"S-See Naruto-chan I-I told you, you would get a point." The injured supposedly not so unconscious boy croaked.

* * *

><p>"<strong>One Seme Point For Naruto Uzumaki: Sasuke was disqualified."<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: U guys... I still cant get over that amazing disclaimer... ANYWAY for those who have recovered from being blown away, I hope you guys liked the capter, not really my favorite but hey I wanna here what you guys think. I think the bottom overall message of this chapter would have to be... bugs don't land on your ass. Please reveiw so this message will reach all of man kind.  
>Thanks! Love Kenny-chan <strong>

****_Do it for the poor wrongly accused bugs_


	6. Sasuke Is Officially On Welfare

**＼(＾▽＾*)Kenny-chan Cant Spelll(*＾▽＾)／**

**A/N: Look at that! Not too late! Score (〃∇〃)/! ANYWAY, I wanna thank XxXLexxibabeXxX! I used a ton of her ideas for this and I doubt I could have came up with this with out there amazing scills so HUGS TO HER! \(≥ω≤＊)/ I hope u enjoy this one its a bit diffrent then the rest because the real competition starts late in the chapter! THNXX! (｡･u･｡)  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: YES! I have been waiting for this! I made a sequal to my song, the first one if any of u dont remember (I dout it cuz it was just that grate was) **Sasuke and Naruto Sitting in a tree, both belong to K Mashi.  
>NOW FOR PART 2,<br>They are so in love and just so you know, they make out after every show.  
>Dude... i should join Young Money. <strong>**

* * *

><p>"Ne, ne, can I please push the cart Sasuke." Naruto begged in front of a large display of green super market shopping carts. Sasuke sighed; all he wanted was just to get a vegetable lunch with his cute little Naruto kill Kakashi in the soup isle and buy some red flowers for future plans! But noooo, of course this little trip has to be made into one huge fiasco, and of course competition. Yep you read right, after donating Sai's body to science, Kakashi told both Naruto and Sasuke the next game. All Sasuke got from that conversation was that they couldn't leave unless one of them proved to be seme. So basically the little date he had planned was going to half to wait.<p>

"Sure, sure just don't crash." The raven mumbled, rubbing his temples in irritation.

"Yay! Your awesome Sasu!" Naruto cheered, trying to separate his cart from the line.

"Oî, Sasuke," Kakashi whispered, from behind Sasuke.

The raven could feel a vain pop just from talking to the man.

"Yes Kakashi sensei?" He answered thru gritted teeth.

"L-l-l-l-"

"T-t-today junior!" Naruto interrupted, rolling by in his cart, clearly unsuccessful at separating it from the rest of the carts made clear by the other four pairs of wheels that should most certainly not be there.

"Look!" The crazy man screamed pointing to an aisle.

"Wow Kakashi it's food congrats." Sasuke sneered; watching to make sure Naruto didn't fall out a window or something. Because God knows what he can accomplish with not one but three carts.

"No baka! It's… ICHA ICHA PARADISE ADDITION!" The man shrieked lunging into the mass of perverted shaped food.

Sasuke huffed, deciding to just ditch the masked ninja and stick to what he actually likes.

"Come on Naru." He sighed, grabbing the front of the carriage, guiding it to the third and most important isle.

"Eww, gross Sasu! No green, bad green!" Naruto wailed once Sasuke started loading the cart with lettuce.

"What." It wasn't really a question more of an annoyed statement.

"How about we get… THIS!" Out of nowhere the blond magically flashed a box of brown sugar and cinnamon frosted Poptarts.

"Where did you-"

"They're sweet and goodnessy pleeeease Sasu! I love them!" Naruto begged shaking the box dramatically in front of the raven's irritated face.

"Ugh, fine. Just get a new box you probably already broke those."

The blond shook his golden locks enthusiastically, a huge grin plastered under his sparkling blue eyes before running to the next else to pick up a new box.

"Excuse me sir." Sasuke turned to face the, er, face of Shino, wearing a dark blue apron over his usual white large coat.

"Oh hey Shino I didn't know you worked here what's-"

"Did you just destroy our product then not only put it back but request another one in it's place." The boy interrupted making no facial expression in the slightest, Sasuke on the other hand…

"What? No I didn't I-" He said quickly but was yet again silenced by Shino's low ominous voice.

"Then who did sir?" This is where in anime where the character goes white and looks all-awkward. Yes that is Sasuke Uchiha.

"…"

And with that Shino pushed up his little glasses and marched off to find the damaged Poptarts.

Sasuke face palmed before getting back to shopping for the oh so important veggies.

Before long the young Uchiha was making the decision between the more expensive organic farms tomatoes of the less expensive imported tomatoes, but his dire decision would have to wait the second he heard his name being called loudly by two beautiful pink lips.

With in seconds he was speeding down the lanes, where his beautiful blond was located.

"Eh! Naru! Be careful!" He shouted reaching up for the small teenager whom was desperately jumping for a bundle of MnM cookies with a small little elf character on the front, he was on top of two colossal containers, elevating him three feet from the ground

"Sasuke." He panted, still trying to get to his cookies. Oh was the raven turned on, but he had to ignore that, his little boyfriend was in trouble!

"Naru, come here." He said holding out a hand for teen to grab. He happily complied jumping into the not so awaiting arms of his boyfriend. Thankfully Sasuke recovered from the suddenly lunge and kissed the blond on the lips carefully.

"Sasuuuu please get those cookies for me there SO good!" he wined hugging the raven's neck tightly.

"Alright Naru, just be more carful next time." He scolded before receiving a warm kiss on the cheek.

Sasuke dropped his boy friend then stepped up to the vicious enemy. Naruto was a little on the short side of the spectrum, so there was no way he could have reached that! Even Sasuke whom was taller then most couldn't reach the damn thing!

But he, using his brain, decided to use a different method. He kicked the shelf harshly, grinning as the box fell down in a nosedive.

"Here you are my dear- Wha… Naruto?" Sasuke was surprised to see his little boyfriend not by his side.

"Cannon ball!" Just as the familiar scream of none other then Naruto Uzumaki hit his ears; a loud violent sound of crashing did too.

Sasuke slowly turned to face his horror, there stood the little blond, a massive pile or ramen boxes, in wince Sasuke presumed where perched too high up for him to reach.

"Dobe, oh no." Sasuke muttered, grabbing some food boxes off the ground to help his adorable boyfriend, whom did not seem upset by this in the slightest.

"Next time, instead of ramming the cart into shelves, just ask me to do it." The raven sighed, putting the packages back in their places.

"Gomen Sasu." Naruto said just a bit too happily to be true. But non the less Sasuke found the boy adorable and quickly pecked him on the cheek.

Alas their little chat was broken by a loud yell, this time it was to signal Naruto, whom excitedly dashed of without second thought.

Sasuke sighed, shaking his head disapprovingly at the action of leaving him alone to pick up his dobe's mess, but there where only a few boxes left so he could manage.

Once the final bowl of Cup Of Noodles, was tossed onto the top shelf, Sasuke smirked at his accomplishment. Grabbing the handle of his carriage, the boy pulled away from his masterpiece, but his cart was stopped abruptly.

Looking up he noted Shino yet again. This time the teenager was making a sort of 'Tsk'ing sound, while tapping his fingers to gather much like a grandmother scolding her puppy in the 80's.

"Yes Shino, what is it n-?" The raven muttered, glaring at the albino like creature.

"Sir is this your cart?" He asked cutting Sasuke sentence just as before.

"Why yes it is, thank you for noti-"

"Did you push your cart into section B of aisle D sir?" Sasuke was about to respond negatively to that question, but the boy bit his tongue remembering whom the real violator was.

"Yes," He said slowly "but me and my friend cleaned the whole thin-"

"You put every item back on the shelf correctly after they fell?"

"Yes! So please leave me a-" And there was that tsking again!

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me." Shino commanded grabbing Sasuke by the front of his shirt.

"What? Why?" He shouted being pulled down the rows of food.

"Please sir, lower your voice." Shino ordered, then slapping the shocked Sasuke across the face.

_What the fu-!_

"Sir, please move your cart away from the middle, people are trying to get by."

_Even in my head this ass-hole gotta cut m-_

"It is our policy for the customer to buy any item that he or she damaged," Shino said.

"So buy everything that dropped. And yes, we have it on camera."

Sasuke froze.

"I will stand right here and watch you."

"But I-"

"Well then, was it someone else who did this?" Shino asked in a monotone.

"…No."

For the next half hour Sasuke spent his precious time deciphering thru different boxes of food, if but one noodle of ramen, leg of cheese rabbit or gusher, just happen to break, fall and or gush, it was added to Sasuke's three shopping carts.

Finally once the whole ordeal was over, he glared at Shino while flipping him off of course, just as the ass hole turned the corner. But, obviously the cursed hand sign was broken when a bright blond head, and two crystal blue eyes galloped over to the cart/carts.

Naruto grinned cheekily before dropping what looked to him like box of macaroni balloon and tadpoles, Squidward shaped cookies and of course a strange white smoothie into the cart.

Sasuke couldn't help but grimace at such perverted foods in his little blond's hands, but since the dobe didn't seem to realize, he could live.

"Where did you get these?" The raven asked in disgust.

"Kakashi sensei gave them to me and said to put them in the cart! He says he has more too!" Naruto cheered, jumping up and down in excitement.

A chagrin formed on Sasuke's face after realizing that more would come from the pervert the longer they where here, and so he decided paying for all the junk would be the best thing to do… yes, paying did not make the raven happy but he just wanted to get his and his little usuratonkachi's butt (Sasuke insists that you can not call his blond's behind an ass) out of there!

"Ready Naru?" He asked, as Naruto hopped into one of the three carts.

"Yup!"

With that, Sasuke pushed the carts to the cash register quickly, but of course not too quickly, don't wanna hurt Naru, or get Shino's attention for that matter.

Once they made it to the front of the shop, the due hopped in line.

A recollection hit the young Uchiha just after he loaded the multiple bags of food onto the cart, yes; he forgot to make the choice between the tomatoes.

Face palming at his idiotic forgetfulness, Sasuke handed Naruto a wad of cash, telling him to ring all this stuff up while he grabbed the all important fruit/vegetable, only God know which one is right.

Naruto complied waving as hid boyfriend dashed into one of the many aisle of endless food.

The blond watched as the food was bagged, and smiled at the lady when she told him that he would be having quiet a feast. These actions where stopped though once she got to a particular section of food, with the words Icha-Icha Paradise.

"Um, I'm sorry but your going to need your parent's permission to by these." She said, shocked that such a sweet looking kid could actually be a pervert.

"But, I-"

"I'm going to have to return every item, I'm sorry that's our policy." She said looking at the big depressed eyes of the blond.

Just before Naruto could utter a whimper, the small boy's number one fan saved the day again. Sort of, anyway.

"Um, Naruto, you can go pick out a candy if you want." Sasuke mumbled, running back to the cash register with a bag of tomatoes. (He chose the inorganic ones by the way… cheep, man, cheep.)

"Uh yeah, this is my son…" He said once the blond was out of earshot.

The cashier gave the attractive raven one of the strangest look he has ever seen, her eyes, bulged, one eyebrow was slanted while the other was straight and her mouth was gapped open a little. Quiet a weirdo if I do say so myself.

Sasuke, getting the message that she didn't believe him, went all Uchiha on the lady.

"It's called teen pregnancy you dumb ass, and I swear on my mother's grave, if you dare question me, I can promises you will wake up with more then just a horse head on top of your mattress. Lets just say you and my family will both suffer from denying me. My son and I will be offended and just leave with out our goods and your family, well lets just say they will be luck to wake up in the morning."

Ah yes, Sasuke in his mad mode. He growled this warning all the while his sharingan glare, burned her eyes out.

"I-I am very sorry sir! Please forgive me for doubting you!" She practically wailed.

"Hn." Was all the teenager had to say before the check out process started moving faster.

It was then Sasuke realized he could not leave this store with out getting that stupid competition over.

The raven began going threw a list of things he could do to prove that **he** was seme.

His thought's where interrupted though, as a hand began patting his head quickly.

"What is it Kakashi?" Sasuke growled, knowing full well that the man had more of his pervert treats in his nubby little arms.

"Ha, ha, Sasuke, you are just so cute, I left some uh… soup in that aisle, can you-" Somewhere threw the masked ninja's request, Sasuke came up with the perfect way to win.

"Listen well old man," Sasuke directed, turning to glare darkly at his sensei.

"I'll let you grab one more thing, but I want you to watch what I do that will **cl**early make me seme." He growled, just before Naruto ran up to the register, putting a box of yellow Peeps on the scanner.

"Alrighty Sasuke!" Kakashi saluted, slowly walking to his aisle backwards, keeping his eyes or possible eye, on the teenagers.

"Look Sasu I got some little chicks! Chicks love me you know, so I should totally be a seme, right?" He squealed, just as his boyfriend dropped his bag of tomatoes on the ground.

_Naruto will defiantly prove his submissiveness if I drop something, I bet the cutie will pick it up with a smile on his face, eheheh and before he knows it, Kakashi will jump out give me a point and we can just leave! _

* * *

><p><strong>'Who Is Least Submissive In A Super Market?'<strong>

* * *

><p>"Hey Naru, I dropped that…" Sasuke said waiting patiently for the blond to pick it up.<p>

"Oh no…" Naruto mumbled, not really sure of what Sasuke wanted. The raven stared patiently at the boy, wondering what he could do without directly asking him to pick up the bag.

"Um… you know what makes me happy?" Sasuke asked, "When people pick things up for me."

A huge smile spread across the little dobe's pink lips, "You know what makes me happy? Super cheesy raviolis." The boy said intelligently.

Sasuke sighed in defeat, looking over his shoulder noting Kakashi's little head still watching from behind his favorite aisle.

"How about I pick up something you drop, and you-"

"Your silly Sasu, I didn't drop anything!"

Sasuke took a deep breath. He knew Naruto so well what could he possibly do for him to get the message.

Suddenly a light bulb flashed on above the young Uchiha's head. Quickly he pulled forth his phone, then played a loud ringtone.

"Oh I have a call! It says it's from the North Pole!" Sasuke said in shock holding his phone in front of the stunned blond.

"Answer it!" He yelled hopping up and down with excitement.

"Hello?" The teenager paused a moment before speaking again into the device, "Hi Santa Clause!" That was all he needed before Naruto cheered loudly.

"You say if a boy was picking up things like tomatoes, they are awesome? Oh cool! Ok bye Santa!"

"Tell him I say bye too!"

"Naruto says bye!"

With that he snapped his phone shut, smirking at his success.

"You hear that Naru? If you pick up things like… um… THAT! Santa will love your forever!" Immediately Naruto bent down, grabbing the bag of tomatoes in his fist.

The raven grinned, before looking over his shoulder and… where the hell was Kakashi?

"Here Sasu I got the- whoa!" Just before Naruto could hand the tomatoes' to his boyfriend, the blond tripped over one of the many wheels on the cart/s. This caused said shopping vehicle/s to roll abruptly into an aisle, and before long, tipping it over. There was what most people call a domino reaction with the wondrous shelves of food, each tipping each other over. Before long, nearly every shelve crashed down to the ground.

"WHO DID THIS!" A booming voice screamed, everyone in the store froze as Kakashi, jumped out of a pile of crushed food. Food that was very important to him.

Both Sasuke and Naruto exchanged nervous glances, before either of the two could choke out a word; Shino stepped into the center of the store.

"This was done by Sasuke Uchiha, the teenager previously stated that he was the parent of this boy, and so we ask him to no only repay everyone for the food they lost, but to buy all food that hit the ground and most likely broke in some way. So basically, everything." Sasuke stood in shock as the store was filled with hateful looks all directed at him. But they where nothing to what was coming next.

"SASUKE HOW DARE YOU!" Kakashi screeched, pointing at the teen with his middle finger, "JUST BECAUSE OF THIS, NARUTO YOU GET THE POINT!" He snapped.

"… Yay!" Naruto cheered, standing up from his spot on the ground. Sasuke remained traumatized, not daring to say one word.

"Oh, my bad Sasuke… It looks like your tomatoes got ruined." He sighed, grabbing the bag that was once filled with red tomatoes. By the end of the day, Sasuke had successfully purchased, 92 bags of cookies 98 bags of sugar, 93 cups of ramen, 99 bags of pedophile food and 100 bags full of crushed ugly tomatoes.

* * *

><p><strong>"One Seme Point For Naruto Uzumaki: Sasuke Just Sucks."<strong>

* * *

><p>Once everything was done, Shino walked home happily, today had gone just how he wanted it to, he made lots of sales, got to leave early due to stock and best of all, he got revenge for his little uke. He was positive that mean old Sasuke would not be upsetting him again. It was a very good day.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ok I bet some of you are REALLLY pissed at this chapter and I get that, but I said there was going to be plot, this will get Sasuke's character to change slightly, sry if this chapter wasn't super funny because of that but it just had to  
>happen <strong>(_ _ )<strong>. **

**Im sooo sick so ima go to bed now, please review my deers! Im so happy this is becoming such a popular story! I thought it would go no where!**

**Love In A Gagster rapper Way, Kenny-Z, Y.O.L.L.O... im so mobbin.**


	7. Stepping It Up

**＼(＾▽＾*)Kenny-chan Cant Spelll(*＾▽＾)／**

**A/N: Hi everyone, I hope you guys think this chapter is ok a lot of people really didn't like the last one and it made me feel really scared about posting anymore. Sorry if this one is bad too, I tried to make it funny and cute but I just don't know anymore.  
><strong>

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

* * *

><p>Sasuke Uchiha looked into the mirror late Sunday night. His hair was disheveled; it's usual duck but style now representing much more of the ass of a peacock, minus the bright floral colors. Not only that, but his usual flawless face was coated in sweat, and deep gray bundles hung on the skin below both of his glaring eyes.<p>

It had been two days since the incident in the super market happened, and the young Uchiha was much less then pleased. The boy was set on not talking to anyone for the next week. Not even his usuratonkachi.

Sasuke would have forgiven his little blond instantly if he just apologized, but instead he had to take a whole new approach.

And just like that, the small devise thrown up atop Sasuke's dresser vibrated like crazy. With a grumble, the raven trudged his way to the object, slowly lifting it and reading _'The L≤3vely Naru-chan A.K.A Sexxy little fox'._

On any normal occasion, the young Uchiha would have stripped down right then and there when getting a text from his boyfriend. Even if it were a simple 'hi' Sasuke would probably explode. Literally.

But, tonight was not a normal night, actually the past 14 days; instead, Sasuke flopped onto his bed, flipped open his phone and gave a groggy yawn as a stream of light hit his eyes dramatically.

_From The L≤3vely Naru-chan A.K.A Sexxy little fox, sent at 1:12,_

_'HAHAHA Sasu if you get fat after eating everything u bot that wd be soooo cool. I would swing on ur lilttle chub rolls and bounce on ur tummy! By sasssufat!'_

Sasuke glared at the message with all he was worth. _How can he even say that! It's his fault all this happened!_ Sasuke thought shutting the cellular devise quickly and tossing back to its usual spot.

The raven buried his tired face into his pillow with a grunt. Now some of you may be wonder what Sasuke is even doing up at one twelve in the morning. If leaves no surprise the blond us up, probably playing some Xbox game with Kiba, but Sasuke really! Now I know you all know his nightly ritual of brushing his teeth for two minutes showering for ten then 'free time' for an hour before finally sleeping at 10:02, the perfect time for him just so he could wake up fresh and early come nine a.m. (since God know when he will next have a decent mission his in need of waking up early for.)

So what is he doing now? Well friend, rest assured, (Not for Sasuke) it is because of what we hear call Naru-drawls. This boy is in some much need for a little time with his favorite blond. Sadly enough he will not be getting some lovins anytime soon with the way he is behaving.

But, of course, Sasuke being Sasuke does not blame Naruto for what has happened and he certainly would never blame himself! So there was only one candidate to pin this on. Kakashi.

_If not for these stupid games I could be curled up with little Naru right now!_ It was this moment where Sasuke decided to put an end to all the shenanigans. Sasuke was going to win this game. He knew it well, as he finally rolled over on his side wearing a wicked grin like no other. _Watch out Konoha, Sasuke just got his Uchiha on._

* * *

><p><em>Later That Day<em>

"Kakashi-sensei where is Sasu I haven't seen him and so long!" Naruto wined to his ninja teacher while devouring a bowl of ramen.

"Hmmmm," The masked man sounded, a bundle of noodles in his mouth, which mind you was still covered by his peculiar mask.

"Maybe reading a book, watching a movie, training, but most likely…" Kakashi leaned in close to Naruto, preparing to tell him the secret of his lifetime.

"Watching porn." He whispered. The blond's face lit like a firework.

Naruto's cobalt blue eyes nervously down casted to his peach colored fingers, absentmindedly twitting his nails together.

"Eh? What's wrong Naruto? Sasuke is a regular teenage boy. Maybe he's just bored with you, perhaps tired of your innocents and just wants something more, umm, sexy, or mature or maybe just more of a man!" The silver haired boy cheered happily, not at all noticing the upset look buried deep inside Naruto's oceanic orbs.

Nor did he notice the fact that the boy only ate a bite of ramen, his training worse then normal or the sad stagger in his step as he limped home broken hearted.

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile<em>

"This is so trouble-some, why do I have to do this?"

"I know, I know trust me, this sucks but if I don't get this stupid competition out of the way I will never be able to fu-"

"Woah Uchiha!" Sasuke was silenced by a hand over his mouth "No offence, but I _really_ don't wanna hear about that." Shikamaru said with a sigh.

Now how did Nara get involved in the plot? Well that was Sasuke's doing. Yesterday morning he ran over to the lazy boy's. After breaking and entering (also known as b&e) due to the fact the teenager was too indolent to open it himself, Sasuke begged for his help. Yes, begged. An Uchiha begging, especially Sasuke is a terrifying thing. In order to save himself from the terrors Shikamaru agreed to help him… if he stopped begging that is.

So here they are now, analyzing just what was making Sasuke Uchiha loose a seme contest against NARUTO!

"Aright let me tell it to you uh... straight…" Shikamaru said giving Sasuke a nervous glance, luckily he either did not get the pun or think it had anything to do with the situation… or that it was funny in the slightest. Most likely the latter.

"You almost never show your emotions, which is good I guess, but with Naruto you seem to…"

"Yes?" The young Uchiha glared. Shikamaru had a feeling Sasuke wasn't one to take criticism lightly. And he really did not want to get on this little anti-Christ's bad side. Hell Sai was _still_ groaning about needing to get into heaven in the hospital! (Good luck with that one)

"Well, let's just put it this way, you kinda… unleash the rainbow when you're around them. You're like a skittle! That's awesome but uh…"

"Oh I see, rainbow's are like uke's so I have create an alter rainbow." Shikamaru's eyes became frying pans as he looked at the dead serious raven in front of him. _This contest is making him loose his mind. _He thought thinking of the next thing the to say that Sasuke would possibly understand.

"Eh eh, yeeaah… so why don't we find a way to show your... colors… in a less, harmful way." Shikamaru said, as his eye twitched, his mind not even able to handle the insanity. _First things first, I gotta get this kid back to at least somewhat normal._ He thought watching the raven as closely as he could.

Sasuke nodded, walking off into the brunette's kitchen.

Shikamaru knitted his eyebrows together seeing as the young Uchiha dove thru his refrigerator.

"Uh, Sasuke what are you, looking for?" Shikamaru asked watching as the raven pulled out an array of foods.

Sasuke looked up with a blank expression, then back at the food at his arms.

"Well, I haven't really eaten since um…" The boy started counting on his finger's quizzically scanning the ceiling,

"Four days."

Shikamaru deadpan before screaming "EAT, EAT NOW!" much like my Italian grandmother.

* * *

><p><em>Three Days Later <em>

A loud banging noise echoed thru Naruto's apartment and much to everyone's surprise the blond did not come dashing out, a big famous smile starching across his face. Instead he mopped to the door, dragging the blanket he had been spending the majority of his time under, behind him.

"Yes?" He said as he cracked open the door, his head leaned into the ground and bright blue eyes dull and cloudy.

"Naruto," The second that familiar voice hit his ears Naruto immediately perked up staring straight into his boyfriends dark orbs. His lips formed a straight line tilting downwards at the ends only slightly.

"Come on, we have somewhere to be." Sasuke said bluntly, grabbing the front of Naruto's now very un-orange but gray sweatshirt, and pulled him down the stairs.

"Ah! Sasuke! W-Where are you been and, and, I can walk you know." Naruto said nervously as he was dragged out of his apartment complex.

"I have been out. This is no time for talk. Save your voice for later." Sasuke said, not even pausing to look over at the blond's stunned face.

_He… doesn't l-like me anymore_. Naruto thought feeling his through tighten. He gave no thought to struggling as they finally got to the end of the village.

"Ah Sasuke! You brought Naruto! Perfect!" Kakashi cheered once the two ended at the village gate.

"Um, Kakashi what is it where doing exactly?" Naruto squeaked, finally let go of by his (hopefully) boyfriend.

"Well Naruto, you two haven't had a little competition in quiet a while, and since it was Sasuke's turn to finally get some help, I decided to let him!" The masked man smiled, patting the blond on the head like a puppy.

Naruto looked over at Sasuke who still refused to make eye contact with him.

_Maybe if we could just sort this out, I can get Sasu's interest back by showing him what a great seme I am in s-s-se…love making._ Naruto thought his cheeks lighting up just at the thought. _Oh I really hope I'm good…_

Slowly Naruto nodded, getting ready to start the game.

"This time where gonna do who ever makes the their partner make an uke noise wins! So obviously touching is aloud but you have to keep your clothes on. Shikamaru informed me that he really doesn't wanna see that so we have to respect that-"

"But, what about you, you don't wanna see that either r-"

"ANYWAY," Kakashi said silencing Naruto before he said anything more.

"Pervert."

"SASUKE, DO WE WANT A REPEAT OF LAST TIME? No? I thought so, ANYWAY, uh… yeah that's about it! Good luck Naruto!" Kakashi said giving a thumbs up.

"Oh yeah… and Sasuke too… I guess." He said before proofing away.

* * *

><p>'<strong>Who Can Make Their Partner Make And Uke Like Noise?'<strong>

* * *

><p>"Ok!" Both teenagers looked over at a hand waving thru a bush on their far left, "I'll be right over here watching eagerly!" Kakashi yelped.<p>

"If he was only going there couldn't he have just walked?" Naruto asked glancing over at Sasuke whom just shrugged in response.

"Let's just start this already." The raven muttered rolling his eyes.

Naruto shook his head slowly locking on the ground. _If I can make Sasuke nervous he is bound to make the 'Hinita hming' sound!_ _And, I know just how to do that, it's going to be awkward but I have to! All I need to do is mention the 'no no' areas, if I can get him thinking about that then I know he will be so full of loving that he will make an uke sound! _The blond thought hatching some ideas.

Meanwhile Sasuke just sighed and sat on the ground, glaring at a small bird playing in a puddle.

It may appear that Sasuke is being a total bastard right now but in all honesty he has no idea that is going on. You see, Sasuke is being pretty smart right now, trying to keep his emotions down by realizing and not physically assaulting his ninja teacher, even though he wants to just slap the guy for a ton of idiot comments he made, and most of all Sasuke is staying as far away as he could from Naruto. His whole plan would be ruined if he did what he really wanted to do. And trust me Sasuke wanted to do a looooot of things to his boyfriend. Not only would he find some way to loose by showing his emotions but many of the things he so desperately wants to do would not really follow 'no taking your clothes off' rule. Sasuke had to resist.

The raven also knew how to win this one. Very simple really, Naruto is just _bound_ to make some sort of noise sooner or later, Sasuke really had to do nothing. Just wait out the storm.

"So Sasuke... been to the bathroom lately?"

Quiet a storm indeed.

"Yes Naruto, have you not? Because you may have a problem then." Sasuke said face palming at the boy's desperate attempt. _Was that suppos't to turn me on?_ The raven thought with a scowled.

"Um… n-no I have but-um-" Naruto shuttered, looking over to the little head peering out of a bush. _Uh-oh, I gotta seme up! Come on Naruto! You don't want Sasuke mad at you do you! Do it for your uke! _ The blond thought before clearing his thought.

"Did it feel good?" He gulped watching as Sasuke's expression morphed from 'unbelievable' to 'Wtf did he just say?'

"Naruto your gayer then I thought you where if-" _Shit._ Without knowing Sasuke locked eyes with his boyfriend and instantly he felt like raping him.

Naruto had a very different experience. He felt his heart drop as he looked into Sasuke's dark eyes and couldn't help but sick.

"S-Sasu… I-I'm sorry for not b-b-being g-g-"

"I forgive you." Naruto's eyes popped. _I was forgiven that easily? Maybe I can get back on top! I'll get even more seme-ish and sexy! I promise Sasuke! Then maybe you will never get bored of me!_

"Naruto you loose." Naruto was just about to jump on his still boyfriend with a smothering hug but froze as his sensei appeared in front of him.

"What?" Naruto asked, his arms still reaching for Sasuke.

"I said you lost! Did you even hear yourself?" Kakashi said shaking his head.

"Yes- I mean, awwww" Sasuke said quickly covering up enraging his favorite blond.

"No! That's not true! Sensei!" Naruto wined throwing weak punches in his teacher direction.

"What was that! You where doing the whole N-N-Naruto thing that Hinita does! Your soooo un-cool now! When I have a kid I forbid you from talking to it you loser!"

"Nooooo Kakashi-sensei that was what Sasuke was going to do not fair!"

"Don't worry Naruto now where tied now! Besides, Kakashi can't have a kid he's with Iruka!"

"…So? A stork can still give him a baby! WAAAAHH I WANNA SEE THE BABY KAKASHI!"

"Oh no…"

"HA HA! Sasuke that's your job I'm not telling this LOSER about babies!"

"WHAAAAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAH!"

"Kakashi… I swear to God-"

* * *

><p>"<strong>One Seme Point For Sasuke Uchiha: Naruto S-S-Stutters Like A Little Hinita."<strong>

* * *

><p>"Then I will just start tomorrow!" Naruto screamed into the air.<p>

"Whom are you talking to?" Sasuke asked still sitting on the ground.

"HA HE TALKS TO HIMSELF TOO!" Kakashi laughed hysterically pointing at Naruto.

"Ready to go Sasuke?" Naruto asked reaching out a hand after fighting with the silver haired now prick.

"Well I would, but I'm holding a lot of emotions in so I think I will need to be left a lone for a little… I mean if you want to be there please be my guest, probably go faster then, but you want ramen right? I'll be there soon." Sasuke said.

"Ok weirdy," Naruto said giving his boyfriend a strange look,

"Wanna go eat Kakashi?"

"Sorry, don't eat with unicorns." The man said making an 'L' with his finger's and holding them against his forehead.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I hope it wasn't to bad and I really thank all the people who do like the story, I love critizim but I think people are just starting to just hate this. So I was wondering if I should stop the story. I really don't want to but I will if people think it's going nowhere and not even funny. Thanks for all of you who have been reading this far and I hope to see you next time (^ ^)**

**Love Kenny-chan**

**P.S. Anyone who was still confused, Shikamaru taught Sasuke to focus all his energy in his eheh lower area ehehe that was why he couldn't get up, he didn't want the world to see his hard on ^^ **


	8. The Naruto Fanclub

**＼(＾▽＾*)Kenny-chan Cant Spelll(*＾▽＾)／**

**A/N: Thanks to all you wonderful people, I have desided to keep this story going! ( ^ _ ^)∠ B00M！Screw dem haters, We gotta story to write (*∀***)!  
><strong>**

****Disclaimer: insert witty disclaimer message about how Kishimoto owns Naruto Dont worry its on my list of things to do (￣▽￣)ノ****

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><p>"Okay, only three more rounds, I have to win only two more points to win!"<p>

"Yeah, but you won't…"

"Shut up! I defiantly _will._"

"… We'll see about that won't we?"

"Will you two stop quarreling!" Kakashi snapped, stopping to turn and look at the bickering boys.

"…Quarreling?"

"I don't even no what that means…"

"Your word choice is lagging Kakashi."

"I don't know how to speak British, you should know that sensei."

Kakashi was having the worst headache of his life. These little brats where not helping.

"You know what? Where just going to start the competition right here, right now." The masked man ordered, glaring at the teenagers, Sasuke Uchiha and his boyfriend Naruto Uzumaki.

"You hear that Sasu? Right here, right now!" The blond said with intimidation. Scoff scoff.

"Yes Naru, I was right here right now. So I did here." The raven responded.

"Right where?"

"Right here?"

"Right now?"

"Right."

"Right where?"

"SHUT UP!" Kakashi fumed desperate to escape his ninja students, both annoying the perv right out of him. Just kidding of course.

"Okay, each of you are going to collect votes! Got it? Who ever looks better ok? You each can get a friend to help you, I don't really care. Who ever gets thirty votes gets a seme point." With that the man disappeared in a cloud of spoke after magically throwing a sheet of paper with both Naruto's and Sasuke's name on the top to the ground, leaving both boys to find a helper themselves.

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><p>'<strong>Who Can Get Thirty Votes First?'<strong>

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><p>A half our later we find our two beautiful males with not only themselves for company but a friend. That is, if either <em>friend<em> is willing to be considered company.

Neji Hyuga, a self-obsessed cocky seventeen year old. The longhaired boy was taken to the side of Sasuke Uchiha. A perfect team of utter bastards.

Gaara Sabakuno, a somewhat stoic figure, whom seemed to have a rather grim side, blood being one of his favorite possessions but also a much sweeter personality whom took a rather deep interest in sand. God knows why. This red head joined in with Naruto. But in all honesty, he simply could not see the bright-eye boy as anything but an uke. No offence of course.

"You'll see! We are **so** gonna win this!" Naruto yelled at the smirking raven on his left.

"We'll see about that won't we Naru." The boy scoffed back, which of course started even more of argument.

"You two never cease to annoy me." Neji murmured looking over at the fighting couple. Neither took notice of course, both boys purely wrapped around each other's words. The usual.

"Oi, Naruto can I go home now?" Gaara asked, bending down to the blond boy's head, which was now against the ground with his boyfriend straddling his waste, holding down his flailing arms.

"Eh, no! Just w-wait, I'll be there in a-AHA!" Naruto yelled now holding Sasuke down.

Just then the cry of two girls pierced the groups eardrums.

"Can I help you?" Neji asked weirdly at the three girls gathering around the fighting couple.

"Your so hot!"

"Marry me!"

"Can I have your babies?"

Sasuke grinned wildly, throwing an evil look at his lover before pouncing to his feet doing a little pose for the ladies.

"Well hello girls, can you do poor old Sasuke-kun a favor?" The boy purred, the cockiness just erupting out of him. So cocky.

The girls squealed, willing to burry themselves alive for the raven.

"Can you just write a little check on this piece of paper for showing support of me being the better seme? Thanks." Sasuke said with half lidded eyes.

The girls beamed immediately scribbling down a check before being shooed away.

"Eh! No, that's not fair!" Naruto yelped watching the screen befall him helplessly.

"Why not Naru-chan?" Sasuke smirked pinching his boyfriend's inflated cheeks.

"Oww-"

"Sasuke lets just rap this thing up already." Neji ordered grabbing the young Uchiha by the collar.

"Fine," Sasuke sighed complying with the longhaired brunettes demand, but not with out a sinister smile at his lover.

"Bye Naruto, good luck!"

Naruto puffed up his cheeks before scowling at the boy.

"Gaara, we gotta do this! Come on, let's go find some girls!"

And so the two teams split off, each on a quest to get thirty checks for seme.

"Hey Sasuke-kun!" Ino, a Sasu-fan girl with, long platinum hair and, pale green eyes. Particularly annoying.

"Hn." Sasuke mumbled, falling to his immediate reaction. A harsh slap across back reminded the raven of his mission and with a sickening gulp, Sasuke was at her side.

"Well, how are you doing Ino-chan?" He breathed, holding back some bile that was building up in his throat.

The girl glowed at his sudden interest in her and she quickly put on a smile.

"I'm great how about you?"

"Well," Sasuke sighed sadly before glancing up with smoldering dark orbs.

"I need more people to vote for me so I can be seme." He declared lowly.

Ino was up in a heartbeat, scribbling down her vote on the clipboard in Neji's hands.

"Okay Sasuke-kun, I voted for you now can-" Before the girl could finish Sasuke had already walked off. So much for giving a rat's ass about her.

"This is way to easy for me." The raven smirked.

Neji just sighed, he had to agree with him on this, Sasuke had at least 9000 fan girls just about willing to jump off the world for him. And that's not even possible.

By four o'clock they had already gathered 28 votes from nearly every teenage girl in Konoha.

Things where looking rather bright for Sasuke.

Naruto on the other hand had only collected 1 vote, and that was from himself soooo…

"Come on, we should probably fine Sasuke and Neji now, see how many more votes he has.

"Gaara, you have to help me." Naruto wined, moping around the streets of Konoha, his fearless companion following his suit. Minus the whining obviously.

"They're Sasuke Uchiha's fan girls what do you expect, they aren't going to want their love to screwed by someone else." The red head explained to the squealing blond next to him.

"Whhaa, I want fan girls!" Naruto cried much to his friend's misery.

Suddenly a light bulb lit over Gaara's head as they passed a certain shy, white eyed Hyuga fumbling about in the background.

"Hi Hinita!" Naruto yelled, glancing over at what his friend's vision was locked on.

The girl immediately flushed, being noticed was something somewhat rare for her. She awkwardly raised her hand in a waving motion before greeting back shyly.

"Oi, Naruto come here for a second." Gaara ordered before whispering his plot in the boy's ear.

"Is that them?"

"Hm? Oh yeah! Let's go brag- wait why is Gaara that close to my Naruto? I will simply NOT allow this, let's go Neji!" Sasuke yelled the sharingan already burning through his pupils.

"Hold it." The longhaired boy commanded, pulling Sasuke back before he could drag him away.

The raven glared daggers, but held still as Neji told him their own little plan. Things where certainly getting squeamish.

The second Hinita Hyuga walked off down one of the many dusty paths, not one, not two, not even three, but four Ninja's where looming in the shadows behind her. Some much more skillfully then others, some not even aware of each other presents, but either way, the stalkers finally where brought to the entrance of a tall fence.

The girl did a slight glance on both sides before dashing over the fence.

Why she did not use her byakugan is still unknown to the writer to this day.

"What's going on in their Neji?" Sasuke hissed watching as his favorite blond and his friend also leaped over the picketed barrier.

Neji did a speedily Byakugan check, and gasped at his findings.

"What Neji! You have to tell me!"

"Well you see-"

"You took too long! I must protect my dobe!" Before Neji could usher one word of warning Sasuke had already entered his own personal hell. Well not really actually, he actually would have loved the place, but the four people praying.

You see Sasuke along with Gaara, Neji and Naruto himself had just discovered the Naruto fan club. The blond's face was _everywhere._ Some of his old clothes taped to the wall, along with boxes of already eaten ramen boxes and chopsticks none other then Naruto had used. Well hopefully anyway.

The four members jumped up in shock. Can you blame them? Their idol has made an appearance.

"Naruto-chan!" A man with a blond ponytail shrieked running over to the much smaller blond.

"Naruto-chan is here! Tobi must be a good boy!" A man with an orange mask leaped highly clapping his hands together.

"Oh, hello Naruto-kun. How are you and you dick doing this fine day?"

"SIA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! Actually, WHAT ARE YOU ALL DOING HERE?"

"Oh where the Naruto fan club! I'm Deidara, that's Tobi, Hinita and, well you know just so adorable!" The blond man squealed fluffing up the boy's blond hair.

"Naruto… why are they all… males?" Gaara said slowly shocked by… well everything.

"…Except Hinita anyway." Said girl blushed brightly before hiding in her hands. The awkward creep.

"Wait! Aren't you guys in," Naruto inhaled loudly, probably breathing in 2/3rds of the earth's atmosphere while pointing at Deidara and Tobi, "Akatsuki!" He finished in a whisper releasing the carbon dioxide from his lips. Naruto is the reason for Global Warming.

"Yeah but were on vacation!" The blond man chirped happily pulling out many artsy pictures of him and the rest of the group praying by a Naruto shaped cross where sombreros and sunglasses, clearly enjoying their holiday.

"Tobi so glad Naru-chan came to visit! Tobi like Naru-chan, Tobi like much!" The masked man cheered waving a pom-pom in the air.

Naruto grinned happily, yes maybe he was hoping for a few more people to be in his fan club, preferably girls, but hey! Votes are votes right! Besides… he had quiet a badass fan club.

"Hey! Can you guys do me a favor?" Naruto asked with bright eyes, still not aware of the Sasuke's presence shriveling up behind him.

"Anything for Naru-chan!"

"Tobi says yup!"

"S-sure Naruto-k-kun."

"I would love to help you and your dick."

Badass is right.

Naruto cleared his throat, clenched his fists after pushing his bangs off his forehead while narrowing his oceanic eyes, preparing to ask the question of a lifetime.

"Can you vote for me to be seme over by boy-friend Sasu, pwwweeeeeeeaaasseeee?"

The members of the Naruto fan club deadpanned as they looked into the puppy-dog eyes of their blond idol.

"B-but Naruto-chan," Deidara stuttered not wanting to upset the boy, "We like you **because** you're an uke!" The man finished, getting a nod of approval from Hinita, Tobi, and Sai.

"But I'm Seme! SEME!" Naruto wailed throwing his own little tantrum. Deidara exchanged looks with his fellow members before lightly patting the blond's head.

"I think we should take this up with the boss."

Naruto immediately shot up, his eyes wide with curiosity.

"B-boss?"

Deidara grinned before tugging the boy to the back of the small garage. Sasuke zombie walked after them, his shocked state not yet able to break while Gaara, well Gaara actually did loose his mind that moment, and was currently unable to process where is legs where.

After many portraits of none other then the blond, some completely naked thanks to Sai of course, Naruto had finally reached the end of the enclosed area. What was to be seen there would have made anyone cringe and stutter, Naruto was staring right into the face of his own… face. And they where everywhere. If he thought the multiple litter of paintings was a lot this was just… wow. There was literally not one space of wall that was not filled with either a photo, painting or even collage of the blond. But the biggest sight to behold was the massive pink chair turned away from the audience darkly perched upon a small platform.

"Boss… our savior has finally here, and he has a proclamation leader." Deidara sounded before scurrying away from the shady looking object.

"Yes I sensed his Chakara not to long ago. Please come here boy." A dark deep voice echoed making even the birds swallow their chirping.

With a gulp Naruto swallowed as much fear as those little cheeks could hold and ventured to the dark man sitting behind the chair.

Slowly the chair turned with a creak as Naruto's eyes grew ten fold.

That was what broke Sasuke Uchiha out of his coma.

"ITACHI!" The younger Uchiha screamed loudly, gaining everyone's attention.

"Sasu! I didn't know you where here! Look, are you jealous of my f-"

"What the hell are you doing here?" Sasuke hissed cutting off his boyfriend and running to none other then his brother perched proudly in a huge neon pink chair.

The smirk on the eldest Uchiha's face was held as his little brother began his rant on how one of these days he was going to kill him.

"Ah, hello foolish little brother long time no see."

"LONG TIME NO SEE? SCREW YOU!"

"Please Sasuke, I will forbid you from using such language around our guest of honor." The man said his cherry eyes falling on the small innocent blond just happy to be part of the action.

"Hi Itachi-sama!" Naruto smiled waving at the older chiller version of his boyfriend.

"Konichiwa Naruto-kun pleasure to see you again, don't stress I'm on holiday so don't worry about me capturing you or anything!"

"Itachi," Sasuke growled cutting off his brother's chiming voice, "Are you the one in charge of this whole fan-club? Because I want it to stop, **NOW.**"

Itachi wore the same bored expression through every word the younger raven hissed, not affected by his tone in the slightest.

Neither was Naruto apparently ass he pulled his arm around his boyfriends shoulder and pouted.

"Ano Sasu? Why? You have a million fan clubs why can't I have one?" The boy whined rubbing up against his boy-friends side.

"He's right you know foolish little brother. Now, please step off to the side until you have a good argument as to why you don't want this club to take place. Until that time, Naruto, what is it that you wanted from us, the very loyal Naruto fan club?"

Sasuke was speechless as he was ushered out of the garage and pushed off onto the cold street. The poor, poor Uchiha.

"Itachi-sama, you see," Naruto began his puppy face already planted on his features.

"I really want to be seme! Sasuke is an uke I just know it and I can't get anyone to vote for me, please help!" He cooed, grabbing hold of Itachi's hand sweetly.

The man's smirk did not falter as he chortled coolly to himself.

"You know what Naruto, I agree, my foolish little brother would do well being dominated by such a cute boy such as yourself, you defiantly have my vote."

"Kya! Arigato Itachi-sama!" Naruto purred, giving the man a huge hug.

Deidara choked, no way.

"Itachi-san, are you… serious?" The blond man asked with wide eyes.

The eldest raven just grinned, his eyes shifting happily as he began explaining what was on his oh so devious mind.

"Deidara-kun, you can't possibly tell me that Naruto-chan dominating Sasuke would not be the hottest thing ever. Just picture all the fabulous art you could make." The man said, his eyes gleaming with dark intentions.

Meanwhile Deidara's eyes lit light fireworks picturing what a bang it would be to sculpt such a lustful sight.

"Not to mention," Itachi whispered quietly as Naruto ran off to get the clipboard from Gaara's still unmoving hands,

"You do want a hug now, don't you?"

Suddenly a line was formed behind the blond each person giving Naruto their vote and getting the sweetest hug from the cutest little blond ever.

"Even though I don't really get what you're going to put inside Sasuke…" Sai started staring at the paper in the blond's grasp,

"I still give you my vote." He said with a sigh, checking under Naruto's name.

The boy beamed before squeezing the pale skinned boy tightly, unaware of the not-so accidental grasp of his bottom.

"Thanks everybody!" Naruto smiled waving his fan club behind as he pulled Gaara out the exit.

"Neji!" Sasuke hissed once he _finally_ found the longhaired brunette he was looking for.

Said boy could not look more frustrated.

"What is it Sasuke?" He fumed pacing back and forth in front of the Konoha Bridge, his usually neat presents now untamed.

Sasuke could see the furry illuminating of his accomplice, but you see Sasuke doesn't really care about how people feel, unless their name is Naruto Uzumaki of course. And so, the boy continued, not giving a rat's ass about what was going through the brunette's mind.

"I can absolutely, under no circumstance, no exceptions, no way in hell, n-"

"Get on with it Uchiha,"

"-Let that fan club continue!" Sasuke finally roared much like a dragon would once their princess was stolen from them.

Neji said nothing as Sasuke continued to vent about how Naruto was his to think, lick, touch, smell, eat, speak, suck, exc. ALONE. And no way in hell would he ever even imagine his brother or any other person for that matter.

"-Your girl. Right Neji?"

"…"

"Neji?"

"…"

"NEJI!"

"WHAT IS IT!"

This sadly Sasuke could not ignore. So with a huff of defeat he finally asked what the Hyuga's problem was. And boy did he regret it.

"I thought Hinita loved me! Why would she go join the Naruto fan club!" The brunette cried.

"Uh," Eh, Sasuke was in a tough place with this one, most people would even touch this topic with a nine foot pole, but well, Sasuke never really had a problem speaking his mind.

"She's your cousin why would she ever like you?"

Neji choked on his own saliva. _Did he just…_

"At least she is still a**she**!"

Gasp!

"Well Neji, I hope you have fun with your screwed up kids."

Double gasp!

"At least I can have kids!"

Triple super ultra gasp!

"I'm gonna freaken kill you!"

Quadruple mega colossal gasp!

"I'd like to see you try Uchiha."

Cua- oh wait never mind… not really a gasp moment.

"Just get out of my sight Hyuga" Sasuke sneered turning away from once friend. Or whatever the hell the two where.

Neji grunted a nasty remark before dashing away. Leaving Sasuke all alone… to deal with his many problems. Many, many problems.

"Thank you so much sir!" Naruto smiled as yet another man gave him a vote.

"No, thank you." The man smiled after feeling the bliss of a lovely hug.

Naruto smiled cheekily as he looked over the numerous votes he had, three more and he'll be at thirty!

_Hopefully Sasuke hasn't gotten there yet. _Naruto thought thinking back to his Uchiha, _He did seem really upset, I mean I've never actually seen him that speechless before…_ The blond mused as yet another man gave him a vote.

"Thanks!" Naruto beamed wrapping his arms around the man's torso. For some reason these men where always poking him with something when he hugged them…

"Semes are suppos't to help their little ukes with problems, when they are upset, right?" Naruto asked looking to the boy on the right.

"… I… I really just…" Gaara stammered, still dead.

"So if I help him… I'll be the greatest seme in the world!" Naruto yelled raising his fist in victory.

"Nuuuhaa"

"Sasu is one lucky little uke!" The blond cheered as he began marching of, prepared to do the work of an ultimate seme.

_I MUST take that club DOWN _Sasuke Uchiha thought to himself his vision blurred with rage.

_But these things take time, plans, and bombs._ He mussed passing back and forth through the Uchiha estate. He came to a stop as he looked up at the large dagger hung high on the wall.

The raven smirked to himself as his jumped up and yanked it off it's hinges. Or more like he tried yanking it off its hinges but that baby was nailed on tight! After much pulling and grunting the knife detached from the wall, causing Sasuke to fling across the room and bang up against a draw.

A glass of water fell upon the Uchiha's head and smashed to bits, causing Sasuke to his in pain. Getting up and shaking himself off he noted the many weapons he actually had in hid house, and the… battle clothes? Deep with in the everly devious cabinet, face pain; whist bands, helmets and shields flooded the shelves.

Oh was Itachi going to get it now.

After two and a half hours of getting dressed, twenty minutes of finding weapons and thirty for a quick snack, Sasuke ran out the door.

There waiting for him was his new trusty stead Marshmallow. Oh yes, did I mention the four hours of Sasuke's search for an epic horse? How could I have forgotten?

"Giddy-yup!" The horse stood still, not moving a muscle.

"Mush!" Nope, that's not the one either.

"Hike!" Not today Sasu-chan.

"… Yip-Yip?" Like a bullet old Marshmallow took down the path, tearing up all in his tracks. Marshmallow is indeed a male.

Sasuke called the horse to a stop just as he saw the picketed entrance to the Naruto-fan club.

Quickly he hopped down, gathering his weapon. He held his horse at bay as he wined, sensing the nearing danger. Skillfully, Sasuke crept up to the gate, his red face paint illuminated by the hot sun.

All Sasuke's fears laid ahead, well, except the possibility for him being uke of course.

With one last swallow of lush air, Sasuke with all his bravery jumped over the fence, coming face to face with… nothing.

"Oh there you are Sasuke! We've been looking for you for hours!" The familiar voice of Kakashi called from over the raven's shoulder, the teacher along with Naruto looked up at him happily as their multiple hour long search was finally concluded.

Sasuke did a double take, he was sure there was a club here; he could not be going that insane! Well, yet anyway.

"What?" Was all the raven could utter as the more confused he got.

"Oh yeah, well Naruto won a seme point while you where out doing God knows what. Neji found Gaara lifeless and brought him back to life, thus moving his love interest away from Hinita and now on the Kazekage of the sand. Me and my little dolphin had some quality alone time if you know what I mean, leaving me in a **much** better mood, and we got a mission to find a stolen horse." The masked man concluded just as Naruto ran out a hugged his boyfriend.

"...But what about the club?"

"Oh I told them to take that down a while ago!" The blond said giving the biggest, bestest, tightest and most important hug of the day to his boyfriend. The other hugs didn't mean much to him, but this is what he really looked forward to doing.

"…I see." Sasuke mumbled before passing out. This was just too much.

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><p>"<strong>One Seme Point For Naruto Uzumaki: Naruto Became A Prostitute To Get Votes."<strong>

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><p><strong>AN: Gomen if this chapter isn't verry funny (ι´Д｀)ﾉ Well, if it was to you then I'm soo happy, but I think I broke a funny bone or somthing. I've had a bad two weeks, and I lost three importaint people to me, two of which on July 23! Sasuke Birthday, My Parents Aniversery, My Best Friend and Her Boyfriends Aniversity and now The death of a beautiful 15 year old and 62 year old man.  
>Please send them your prares. 八(;^;) <strong>

**Love Kenny-chan, Please review my loves ^^**


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